Greeting Cards for every occasion. Birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas, breakups, and then some.

Tell people how you really feel.

$2.50 each. Cards printed on heavy duty white cardstock with red accents and matching envelope. Delivered to your door fast.

I make these in my living room, trying to make my own income, so be happy knowing that you're supporting an artist, not some giant corporation. Click image below to preview card, and feel free to link to the images on your own websites or to send as a dirty e-card
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Shipping Costs:
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Order early to ensure delivery. FREE shipping from now until Valentine's Day!



Congratulations
You've got breast cancer


Congratulations
Your kid has Down Syndrome!


Congratulations
She'll make a great starter wife


Congratulations
You got bad touched!


Congratulations
You've got nasty teeth


Congratulations
You've got AIDS


Congratulations
You've got irritable bowel syndrome


Congratulations
You've got erectile dysfunction


Congratulations
You're an amputee!


Congratulations
You're in a wheelchair!


Congratulations
You don't have AIDS


Congratulations
You're white


Congratulations
You're black


I hope you don't have to fuck as many people
to find happiness this year. Happy Valentines Day


I have hundreds of friends on facebook, but you're
my best bet for some action. Happy Valentines Day


I love your pretty face, your sense of humor
and your giant penis. Happy Valentines Day


I only got you a present so you might sleep
with me again. Happy Valentines Day


I don't see this going long term but it's Valentines day
so you'll probably get some action.


I didn't get you a present because
I think we both know that it's over


I hope you think of me when your boyfriend fucks you.
Happy Valentines Day


I hope you think of me when your girlfriend fucks you.
Happy Valentines Day


I don't see this going long term but it's Valentines day
so you'll probably get some action.


I love your pretty face, your sense of humor
and your tiny penis. Happy Valentines Day


I only got you flowers so that you will sleep
with me again. Happy Valentines Day


When i said "until death do us part"
i didn't expect it to take this long for you to die


Valentine's Day wouldn't be the same without
my dick in your mouth


I love your pretty face, your sense of humor,
and your hot ass. Happy Valentines Day


I love your pretty face, your sense of humor,
and your huge tits. Happy Valentines Day


Roses are straight, Violets are twisted, Bend over love,
You're about to get fisted. Happy Valentines Day


Valentine's Day wouldn't be the same without
your dick in my mouth


Valentine's Day wouldnt be the same without
your dick in my ass


Valentines day wouldn't be the same
without my dick in your ass


Valentine's Day wouldn't be the same without
your dick in my mouth


Valentine's Day wouldn't be the same without
my dick in your mouth


I love heroin more than I love you
Happy Valentine's Day


Rectum?? Damn near killed him!!
Happy Valentine's Day


You think I love you? Pull your head out of your ass
Happy Valentine's Day


maybe I wouldn�t have dumped you if
your ass looked this good


I might not have dumped you if your
dick was this big. Sucks to be you.


I like doing my hair more than doing you



I hate you more and more every day



I love it when you feel me up



Maybe you should get your own place now
-for female-


Maybe you should get your own place now
-for male-


I pick my nose when you aren't looking



I'm sorry I fucked your brother



I'm sorry I fucked your sister



Hey guess what?
I'm fucking your wife!


Hey guess what?
I'm fucking your husband!


Happy Birthday
You're an asshat


Happy Fathers Day. Thanks for being the best dad
ever, and an endless personal ATM machine


THANKS Thanks so much for your gift. it's exactly
what i would havegotten myself if i didn't know me at all too


No strings attached means no presents
right? Merry Christmas


I didn't get you a present because
I think we both know it's over


What does some dead guy have to do with this
holiday anyways? Merry Christmas


If Jesus was the King of Jews, why does he
have a mexican name? MERRY CHRISTMAS!


I only got you a gift so that you will sleep
with me again. Merry Christmas


Christmas wouldn't be the same without your
dick in my ass


Christmas wouldn't be the same without my
dick in your ass


Merry Christmas
You're an asshat